1.Nervous and Weird
You know I want to be the way you want me to
Big hearted and tall enough to cover you
I would break in half if you said it loud
Splinter out of myself just like mercury
I think it's better now than how it used to be
You were lying in bed and I would levitate
I think it's better here, than where we used to be
I wish I could go out into the Oregon sun=85 to be alive in the
day
I would smile at everyone
I remember you back in '83 you were dressing insane
You were my everything you were so different from all those
other girls
A blind Electra in drag so cool and casually lame
I think I'm better now than how I used to be
Always nervous and weird, scared most of the time
I think it's better now than how it used to be
Always up in the night afraid to live in the day afraid of being
afraid
Now I sit alone when you're not around
I read aloud just to hear a friendly voice
I see you scary dolls they always look at me
=46rom the corner of my eyes I see them shake their heads
You know I want to be the way you me to
Big hearted and tall enough to cover you
I wish I could go out just to be alive in the day
2.Fire Maple Song
Turn away from the pain you don't want
Turning down to avoid them when they call
Strange words I heard a long long time ago
I wish I could go back to a summer time I knew more than twenty
years ago=
Can't lay beneath the sheets we lie underneath the maple tree
Now I can't smile
Lying in the grass with the wind around us as we smile and talk
Listen to your Grandma sing those country songs
She'd tell us how the maple turns to fire every four years
We'd sit in the grass all summer just to watch the autumn come
around
I can't smile now
I live alone and you're so far away
I call you once a year just around the holiday
I still see you in the night lying above me in the grass
I can't smile
Turn away from the pain you don't want
Turning down to avoid them when they call
I can't believe this letter that says you died
I think I'm gonna go back to the old house in North Carolina and
lay in the backyard
Get drunk and let the leaves just bury me
Bury me
I can't smile
3.Sparkle
I remember when you seemed real shiny with the sweat of your
voice
Shaky hands super load and teenage mouth
We were all charmed and taken with your talk
Now I shudder when I hear the rhythm of your walk
Now I've got no place to go I've got no place to go
I've got no one, nowhere, no one
I have given up on the sparkle that I saw in your eyes
I have sinned the sin of wanting more
The belly fire pulls the spirit from the corporate whore
I'm embarrassed by the plaid you wear
If I were you I'd hide behind that stupid bleach blonde hair
Now I've got no place to go I've got no place to go
I've got no one, nowhere, no one
I have given up on the sparkle that I saw in you
Yeah that simple minded sparkle that I thought I saw
Yes I have wondered why you changed
I like it when you were super loud
I wonder if you're giving in tell me why you're giving in
4.Pennsylvania Is...
Jackson met a girl in a valley town
They fell into a teenage love she'd grow to hate
He's in prison now since he beat her down
He got her pregnant and she made it go away
Hey hey hey hey Pennsylvania
I got a card today from a girl I know
She used to live alone in Philadelphia
She had to leave the state for a choice she made
She says she feels just like a hostage in her home
Hey hey hey hey Pennsylvania
You can close your eyes you can fall and die
You can hope your laws will make it go away
You can close your eyes but you can't make it go away
I just got a call from my uncle Mike
He said he left his wife and he's not going back
Said she changed her mind about a desire child
I asked him if he wants a placemat or a wife
Hey hey hey hey Pennsylvania is wrong!
5.Loser makes Good
I hate waking up it means that I have to die again tonight
35 years old and I'm still sleeping outside
Yeah I think I know your face I don't want to know your name
I won't give in
You say it's Christmas Eve that don't mean nothing to me
Just another fucked up day just another waste of time
You wonder why I live like this man you just don't understand
I won't give in I'm not like that
I won't give in
You smart ass college fuck
Act like you think you're tough
I was just like you
More pride than you could know
Think you pity me
I'll kick your ass if you pity me
I won't give in I'm not like that
No I won't give in to you
You college boy act like you think you're tall
I won't give in I'm not like that
I won't give in
6.Malevolent
Maybe I went too far this time I just go crazy when she says no
Angel turns away pulls her dress back down, slowly washes her
face
Takes the bus to her job downtown
She said I'm OK don't worry about me
Now she thinks for herself, hey what happened to me？
I told him that I thought it was over told him that I wanted to
leave
He used to touch me so nice when we first met
I never dreamed he would hit me I never dreamed he would hold me
down
She said, don't worry about me I won't worry about you
I don't want to be friends she said I'm OK
Just leave me alone
She said don't worry about me I won't worry about you
She said I'm OK don't worry about me
I don't want to be friends
Just leave me alone
Don't worry about me
7.Trust Fund
I know a couple who are in love living in the best of times
A truer love you will never know
Right next to a pain they'll never realize
Sheltered from it in a loving glow young and happy and oh-so
politically correct
Just get it if you need it now
Just go buy it if you need it in your life
Don't you worry if it all runs out
Don't worry because it never will
I know a young girl living in the shadow of the kind of life
that she could never make
She takes it all and gives it back in love to handsome artists
in her native state
She is the angel of the loser and the disenchanted soul
Just get it if you need it now
Just buy it if it makes you happy
Don't you worry if it all runs out
Don't worry because it never will
8.Sick and Tired
I break every day stressed out in every kind of way
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired
All I need and crave is a loud life with the power to fade
I am living because I keep it all inside
Love won't work for me I want women who are out of my reach
All I need for sure is a big love with the power to make more
I am living because I keep it all inside
I know I'm close to the fall
I know I'm dangerous
I'm afraid I'm going down
I blame my family, their damage is living in me
I am sick inside and tired of my life
All I need I swear is to go out with the power of a nightmare
I am living because I keep it all inside
I know I'm close to the fall I know I'm dangerous
I know I'm not going down alone
9.Invisible
I will live I will live for a year or two
Maybe just for a year
I will die I will die I can rest secure in that
I am goddamn sure that this thing ain't no accident
And I just can't believe that AIDS is just some act of God
I will reach for you I will reach my hand
No one will reach for me no one will touch my skin
Yes I will accept I will accept my pain
I don't deserve to die like this no one deserves to die like
this
Sometimes I get so mad I just want to break the world
I will not be denied I will not be ignored
I am not invisible anymore
I will not be denied I will not be ignored I am real
I won't go away I am not invisible anymore
Sometimes I get so mad I just want to break the world
10.Evergleam
Evergleam and I know why God is good and Jesus loves me
Heaven lives and I know where
Sounds to me a not so easy chair falling free and living
Stringing out over and over
Evergleam and I know why it isn't real and I'm not going to
break
Don't die don't give in to it no way no way don't die
Please don't leave me
Evergleam and I know how pulling hair and breaking voices
Giving in won't stop the noise
Spinning wills don't give you choices
Give away the spark inside you give away the shining prize
Evergleam and I know how it isn't real and I'm not going to
break
No I'm not going to break
Evergleam everywhere ever weird everyone
I won't see you there I'm not going away
No way
11.The Laughing World
Right now day one I fall hard when I fall
I always fall on you
Face first head down eyes closed arms out to break my fall
We fall down like a world of noise
We get lost inside the length of our own time
And the laughing world will never forget that it's when you jam
that I jet
I see I want I reach I fail to hold the things that I need
I turn to reach for you I want to touch our life before it fades
like a burning car in the sun
We flame for the all in plain view
And the laughing world will never forget that it's when you jam
that I jet
12.Your Genius Hands
I have seen your shake and I know what it cost you
I have heard your words now I am big on your noise
My eyes aren't big enough because I can't see your hands
I can't see what you hold I am growing now as I watch you fade
Now I know what you know and I'll break the chains you have made
These chains you've made for me
I will pull you down
I know I'll fail in style
I long to touch your genius hands
13.Nervous ＆ Weird
You know i want to be
The way you want me to
Big hearted and tall enough to cover you
I would break in half
If you said it loud splinter out of myself
Just like mercury
I think it's better now,
Than how it used to be
You were lying in bed and i would levitate
I think it's better here,
Than where we used to be
I wish i could go out into the oregon sun. . .
To be alive in the day. . .
I would smile at everyone
I remember you
Back in '83
You were dressing insane
You were my everything
You were so different
From all those other girls
A blind electra in drag
So cool and casually lame
I think i'm better now
Than how i used to be
Always nervous and weird
Scared most of the time
I think it's better now
Than how it used to be
Always up in the night
Afraid to live in the day
Afraid of being afraid
Afraid to live in the day
Afraid of being afraid
I sit alone
When your not around
I read aloud just to hear a friendly noise
I see your scary dolls
They always look at me
From the corner of my eyes
I see them shake their heads
You know i want to be
The way you want me to
Big hearted and tall enough to cover you
I want to be
The way you want me to
I wish i could go out just to be alive in the day
To be alive in the day
To be alive in the day
To be alive in the day
14.Pennsylvania Is. . .
Jackson met a girl
In a valley town
They fell into a teenage love she'd grow to hate
He's in prison now
Since he beat her down
He got her pregnant
And she made it go away
Hey hey hey hey
Pennsylvania
Oh, pennsvlvania
I got a card today
From a girl i know
She used to live alone in philadelphia
She had to leave the state
For a choice she made
She says she feels just like a hostage in her home
Hey hey hey hey
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania
You can close your eyes
You can fall and die
You can hope your laws will make it go away
You can close your eyes
But you can't make it go away
Yeah, you can't make it go away
I just got a call
From my uncle mike
He said he left his wife and he's not going back
Said she changed her mind
About a desire child
I asked him if he wants a placemat or a wife
Hey hey hey hey
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania. . .is wrong!
15.Sick ＆ Tired
I break every day
Stressed out in every kind of way
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired
All i need and crave
Is a loud life with the power to fade
I am living because i keep it all inside
Love don't work for me
I want women who are out of my reach
All i need for sure is a big love with the power to make more
I am living because i keep it all inside
I know i'm close to the fall
I know i'm dangerous
I'm afraid i'm going down
I blame my family
Their damage is living in me
I am sick inside and tired of my life
All i need i swear is to go out
With the power of a nightmare
I am living because i keep it all inside
I know i'm close to the fall
I know i'm dangerous
I know i'm not going down alone
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